A Season Spent Standing Quite Closely to Fat Bob from Hard Skin



Before I moved permanently to London a couple of years ago my second consideration (the first was where to live) was which football team I could watch and support. As a Leeds United fan by birth this gave me a chance to start over, to atone for the sins of my clubs fans in a small way (only last year I was on my way to Champion Hill from work when a group of Leeds fans on their way to Millwall got on the train and relieved themselves in the aisles as there were no toilets available. As their piss trickled down the aisle, past a couple of kids sitting opposite me and the group continued to chant songs about being the Champions of Europe whilst downing cans of cooking lager I couldn't help feel a little sorry for them. Angry of course but anger mixed with a twinge of sadness. How had a whole football teams supporters become such a  parody of themselves?) It was a chance to get away from the money, to get the hell away from Ken Bates, to get away from the not so closet racists on the Kop. I needed a club that would help me fall back in love with football again. I was probably as jaded and as cynical as any 30 year old football fan had any right to be but I did still love the game. I needed a club to show me why I fell in love with the game as a five year old, a club to excite me, a club to make  me feel a part of it, part of the club and part of the city, part of the community. A club that could make me feel that paying to get in and supporting a football team was actually important and not a major inconvenience to over officious stewards. I did think perhaps I was asking a tad too much but after a quick internet search and the obligatory question on Facebook to friends (Which football team should I support in South London? No comments, no likes. Lots of self pity)  I decided to visit Champion Hill to watch Dulwich Hamlet FC. Mainly, I have to admit, because they played in pink and blue shirts. After one half of football though I realised I hadn't been asking nearly enough; this was everything I wanted and more.  A team playing attractive football, friendly stewards and other volunteers, amusing fans, great atmosphere AND I was allowed to smoke and drink around the ground. I fell in love in 45 minutes and have continued falling for Dulwich's many charms ever since. It helps that the team are bloody brilliant.

Half way through my first season attending Champion Hill I learnt from Kilvo (him of Leeds based cricket and Yorkshire themed Oi! band Geoffrey Oi!Cott (best named band since Balls Deep In The Dead)) that legendary punk bassist, vocalist and apparently all round funny man Fat Bob of (mock?) Oi! punk band Hard Skin had a season ticket for the Hamlet. I say apparently because I've never seen Hard Skin live so had no idea how round or funny he was. I only bought one of their albums to give this blog some kind of context and maybe review it so the whole thing isn't one long rambling bit of nonsense about nothing very much at all. I did see Wat Tyler (his old band) support J Church at the Duchess, Leeds in 1997 but I can't be expected to remember that (though I am often reminded by friends who were there that when J Church announced one of their songs as "This one's about my Grandma dying" I inappropriately screamed my approval which led to confused looks from the singer (it was the only song I knew of theirs, the one on the Honest Dons Welcome Wagon compilation.)) I do have one of Wat Tylers 7"s though so I guess that makes me a fan. Of sorts.

Anyway I had an idea of who this Fat Bob character may be (his moniker doesn't leave much to the imagination) and I promised Kilvo that I would introduce myself to him at the next match. Of course I didn't; I'm far too shy and socially retarded to introduce myself to a stranger. Especially a stranger who's in a band that some of my friends love. I did, however stand close to where he stood for a couple of matches that season. Standing, silently, a couple of yards away was as close to hero worshipping of another persons hero that I would allow myself to carry out.

During that first season me and my friend Robin would walk around the ground and perch where we found a good spot for a few minutes, almost constantly on the move searching out the best places to watch from, where the best atmosphere was to be found but that wouldn't do for our second season. If you go to watch a football team regularly you should have a regular spot where you can berate the linesman from, where you get to know the people around you without even talking to them so at the start of the 2012-13 season we chose to be less nomadic with our Hamlet viewing and divide the home matches into two halves. The first would be spent near the half way line where Fat Bob and his friends stood (the group later in the season becoming known as the Dultras due an amazing banner self christening themselves thus; check out the photo below) and the second spent behind the goal as the inevitable Dulwich juggernaut rolled over any team that stood and slipped before them.

 



Fat Bob in a pink hat. Photo by Andy Nunn

It was the first halves that brought the most laughter which included moments like when Fat Bob shouted at a Three Bridges FC winger who was remonstrating with the referee to "get back to one of your Bridges" or when he leapt to meet a wayward cross field pass and headed the ball back into play accompanied by a triumphant wail. I imagined at times it was like getting into a Hard Skin gig for free though obviously with less songs about pretending to support Millwall. The second halves defined the season, supporting the team from behind the goal was a joy, urging the team forward, feeling that as a crowd we were making a difference, feeling like it mattered. Dulwich, in the top two for almost all season, managed a draw in the last game of the season to be crowned champions, the clubs first title for 35 years. I've never been more emotional at a football match before, I was genuinely elated for the players, management, fans and all associated with the club as everyone came together to celebrate on the pitch. In just two seasons the club has made me feel welcome, made me feel a part of the place where I live, made me feel a part of something that means something; just like the punk rock music scene had done for me back in 1997. Even if I never will get round to talking to singers in bands.

Oh Yeah the review; On The Balls (released 2012 on JT Classic Records) has lot's of swearing and some other stuff on it. It's pretty bloody good. There's also a 'sister' release called Why Do Birds Suddenly Appear which features a load of female singers such as Beki Bondage (Vice Squad) and Manda Rin (Bis) singing the same songs. I haven't heard it. Yet.

Hard Skin play Out of Spite Punk Rock and Ale Festival (OOS13) at Brudenell Social Club,  Leeds, Saturday August 3rd.